Twenty-seven years ago, the world of SCAD support and information did not exist.
It was June 1999 and I was 9 months pregnant. The pregnancy was physically straightforward, however emotionally very difficult. This was due to me having had three miscarriages prior to this pregnancy.
I had a sixth sense I need a C-section. In hindsight it was probably due to the previous losses.
On the morning of 21st of June, I was now overdue so had an appointment with my consultant at St Marys Hospital in Portsmouth. However, I woke around 6am with numbness in my left arm and chest pain. I had the sense of impending doom. We went to the hospital and was told to wait… guess I looked like a normal pregnant lady to the receptionist. However, the chest pain was increasing, and I remember looking at my husband and saying I think I am having a heart attack as I now had vice like chest pain.
On the ward an ECG showed serious issues with my heart and I was being sick. I was taken to a treatment room, and I thought ‘I am going to have the baby’.
I was in and out of consciousness now and after several tests and examinations by consultants it was decided I should be blue lighted to Southampton General Hospital.
Fortunately, a consultant there had an idea what was happening, so that evening I was given a general anaesthetic and a team from the nearby maternity hospital came to the hospital for the delivery. My family were told that either one of us, both of us or none of us would survive. Happily, we both did.
An angiogram diagnosed a SCAD heart attack and five days later and I was discharged after a 10-day stay.
My parents were able to visit from the Midlands on day five of my recovery. It was, sadly, to be the last time I saw my 66-year-old father alive. Three weeks later he was killed in a car accident by someone who fell asleep at the wheel of their car. I was cleared to fly to Ireland for the funeral.
I spent the first six months on an emotional roller coaster. This resulted in severe depression where all I could see and feel was ‘Black’.
I remember it took about a year to stop thinking each morning as I woke that I was alive.
Medication helped, however, and later counselling.
All I really wanted was to meet or know of another person who had had a SCAD. It took me two years to speak to another SCAD patient and she lived in America. So, you can understand why I was so pleased when Beat SCAD arrived.
My SCAD resulted in some heart damage for which I remain on medication. In the early years of recovery there were some difficult times, like having to accept it was not safe to have any more children after our much-wanted son.
My SCAD anniversary is also his birthday! I have finally accepted that I cannot separate the trauma of my heart attack and the death of my 66-year-old father. PTSD is something I have experienced and that is the legacy of what happened to me.
However, I am resilient and an optimist thankfully. I enjoy life and make each day count.